Visionary Leader Leaves a Lasting Legacy in Her Community.
Deatra W. Gabriella, Age 80, former president of the New Jersey Association for Life Long Learning (NJALL) and longtime Director of Community Education at South Toms River Elementary School, passed away in June 2025.
She was predeceased by her husband of 57 years, Rocco Gabriella, a professional athlete and rockstar, who passed away just six months earlier. Deatra is survived by her sister Debbie; her son Michael and his wife Rose; and her two cherished grandchildren, John and Rose.
Deatra grew up in Long Branch, NJ, with her mother Vonita, father Jack, and sister Debbie. She often spent time with and spoke fondly of her extended family, including Aunt Posy, Aunt Peggy, Aunt Red, Diddy, Gagoo, Gert, Alice Marie and her cousin Susan and Mary Eileen. Deatra worked tirelessly to put herself through college—holding early morning jobs, attending classes during the day, and studying late into the night. A natural leader, she became president of her sorority, Alpha Phi Delta, at Upsala College. There, she formed a lifelong friendship with her roommate of four years, Carolyn Lineback. Deatra graduated with a degree in Spanish and a minor in Russian, and was fluent in both languages.
A devoted James Bond fan, it’s no surprise that Deatra was successfully recruited by the National Security Agency (NSA) for her exceptional language skills, mathematical aptitude, and eidetic memory. However, when the agency required her to pursue a master's degree in Chinese—something she was not interested in—she instead shifted her focus to education. Earning her Master’s in Education from Rutgers University and completing 114 credits toward a Ph.D., Deatra continued to devote her talent and energy to public service.
In 1982, she became Director of Community Education at South Toms River Elementary School, where she launched innovative programs that enriched the community. Among her most impactful initiatives was the YKids Program, a before- and after-school childcare service created to support working families still active today. The program grew to serve the entire Toms River School District and later expanded across the state of New Jersey. She also developed adult education courses, parenting programs, travel clubs, and hosted nearly 150 episodes of a local TV show, highlighting topics and guests that strengthened community ties. Guests of her shows included school administrators, local business owners, politicians and other interesting community members. Deatra shared credit for the success of her programs with her competent and dedicated staff, including longtime secretaries Phyllis Carter and Gae Foran.
Deatra was a dynamic force in both local and national education circles, serving as President of NJALL in 1986–87. Through her work, she forged enduring friendships with colleagues Valerie Celce, Rosemary Dunbar, Sharon Southard, Karen Walling, and Gennie Haines.
At home, Deatra poured her energy into creating a nurturing and joyful life for her family. A careful and selfless steward of family resources, she prioritized meaningful experiences over material things. Her home was filled with warmth, homemade meals, holiday celebrations, trips to Broadway shows, Disney vacations, and family cruises.
After retiring in 2003, Deatra planned to help care for her mother, who passed away the following year. She later moved to South Carolina with Rocco, where they enjoyed many years of sunshine, laughter, and new friendships with Pete, Cathy, Cheryl, Randy, Frank, Carol, Mimi, Jack, Maureen, Joanne, Al, Patti, Ralph, Dave, Lynn, Stephanie, Bill, AJ, Shirley, Danny, Lananh, and many others.
In accordance with her wishes, there will be no public memorial or viewing. Thompson Memorial Home of Red Bank, NJ has been entrusted with the arrangements. A lifelong supporter of charitable causes, Deatra gave generously to organizations including the ACLU, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, the American Heart Association, the United Way, the American Red Cross, and many more. In lieu of flowers, the family invites donations to one of these organizations or a charity of your choice in her memory.
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